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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in life.love.andthepursuitofnappiness' LiveJournal:

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Friday, December 29th, 2006
3:48 am
r.i.p.

Ruin everything

Saturday, December 23rd, 2006
9:51 pm
blahdeblah
So I've come to the sad realization that my literary quest for books on 1st generation youth is futile. This comes from the ambiguity with defining what is actually "1st generation", who identifies as this, if it's an acceptable term of identification, etc. Sigh.

Goodish bad news: lost my job(yes!), but it's winter time(shit!)
+ Visiting my family and friends for a week.
+ Filling out forms for school, and knowing what I want to do with my life.
+ Once again the attempt persists with starting yet another 'core band, with Taina(was in anti-product) as either guest or part-time vocalist...yay
+/- I need money, if you have my mailing address, you know what to do
+ My housemates and I get along really well. Even though I dont celebrate this stupid holiday, they thought of me enough to each get me a book:
A Taste of Power by Elaine Brown, former Black Panther Party member
Al-Hajr al-3jeeb The Incredible Stone (ja'at ma3 sharee6)
? the 3rd one my roommate will surprise me with tonight. I'm assuming its a book on being queer in West Africa. !!!

I'm gonna start hooking people up with good web links every time i do an entry.

http://www.critpath.org/actup/
ACT UP
founded in philly, with locations all over the world, act up's mission is to support hiv/aids victims and inform communities about hiv/aids, through street education outreach, handing out safe-sex materials, putting pressure on pharmeuceutical (sp?) companies, etc. what i love about this organization is it's purely volunteer run, composed of those living with the virus and allies. anyway, check it out.

have a good break kids! goodbye for now, philly.

2 burned the idols - Ruin everything

Saturday, December 16th, 2006
2:23 pm
Assata Shakur's name stirs controversy
Ooh, shocking.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,236015,00.html

" Yesterday's story from Fox news, it was the top story for a while. Note that they try to make the City College students sound stupid by leaving in all the "likes" and "ums" -- they don't do that with Columbia or NYU students. Note also that City College students have a major consciousness about police brutality, especially again now with Sean Bell's murder. "

Now, I'm sure if there was a "Daniel Faulkner Community Center" or unanimous votes to erect memorials of those guilty of executing repressive, genocidal crimes in history and the present against dark-skinned people (actually wait, those already exist), the media spotlight wouldn't come anywhere near being appalled by those decisions...in fact, they'd commend them.

-andy

1 burned the idol - Ruin everything

Friday, December 15th, 2006
9:39 pm
Yo pals,

1.I'll be in Lextown for the holiday break for a week, from the 24th to the 31st. Kashmir, anyone..?! bueller?

2. Does anyone have book or article suggestions on growing up as a 1st generation child? Thanks in advance!

Current Mood: working

5 burned the idols - Ruin everything

Friday, December 8th, 2006
10:08 pm
the march for mumia
March for MUMIA tomorrow at 11:30am - from City hall to the AFSC building, where Ward Churchill will be speaking outside.

See you there!

http://www.freemumia.com

4 burned the idols - Ruin everything

Saturday, November 4th, 2006
8:45 pm
Just In Case you haven't seen this yet.
http://www.hiphopmusic.com/archives/002070.html

Canada based Somali hip hop artist K'naan and his crew brutalized by Swedish cops and bounces after his performance. (Share this link with everybody)

What the fuck for!

1 burned the idol - Ruin everything

Sunday, October 1st, 2006
11:24 pm

Ruin everything

Thursday, August 24th, 2006
11:25 pm

1 burned the idol - Ruin everything

Sunday, August 13th, 2006
2:39 am
My friend Kate and I will be saving money to go to N.Africa next summer, hopefully. Her cousin's in town and I've attempted to converse with him in Arabic and he's found no problems with my speech so far. I decided finally that the job I need is to work with refugees and asylees, to listen to their stories and not to push them into assimilation, but through trust learn how they want to define life for themselves. I've started reading about two things related to language- globalization and generational division.

I'm considering seeing a therapist. For so long, I was so critical of patients, visitors, or anybody who's even thought about going to one. But I feel like I have so much embedded stress that I end up scapegoating every individual i see. I'm so tired of the fake smiles, fake actions, and fake sentiment. I just want to be happy! I see myself getting closer to bliss, even though I know life isn't complete without it's difficulties. Maybe I can be in charge of my own management without the "professional" guidance, but it would be supportive to hear life stories and experiences similar to mine. Things are going well in my life right now, I'm just now grasping the maturity I've needed to pick out my faults.

Hey codee, sarah and I are hitting this up a little bit(well, we'll be kicking it outside w/ folks,maybe). I hope you're safe.




-andy

5 burned the idols - Ruin everything

Tuesday, August 8th, 2006
12:11 am
value your life! be mindful of how you treat others'.
I just found out one of my friends died of a heroin overdose last night. A lesson I'm learning more and more as time grows is to resist pushing people further into margins. She had a lot of concealed sadness inside her and opened up to anyone who would listen. No one really attempted to encourage her happiness and many downplayed her misery. R.I.P. Ashley.

3 burned the idols - Ruin everything

Wednesday, August 2nd, 2006
11:05 pm
The POC Outlet Project
The POC thoughts project idea, by Andrea:

"So Ive started to work on a new project inspired by awesome, insightful dialogues Ive had with other radical/anarchist/anti-authoritarian people of color. Specifically within the past five years of my life as I have been meeting, organizing with and developing tighter friendships with more and more brilliant radical POCs, I have been fortunate enough to have participated in some incredible and life-changing conversations. These conversations have focused on a variety of subjects including: our relationships to organizing and activism, the history of racism, privilege, "passing", issues of identity, immigration, living with multiple heritages, forming autonomous communities, mental health, sexuality, gender expression, the struggles we face decolonizing our minds, capitalism, Civilization, the shift from matrifocal communities to the Patriarchy, Nature, the environment, spirituality, violence, armed struggle, and love.

I feel that so much knowledge has been shared between us and there have been countless times when I have desperately wished I had a way to record our conversations, to transcribe them and share them with the rest of the community in a written form. So I've decided to do just that - an interview/dialogue project where we sit down together to explore all things related to our experiences as radical people of color. Eventually after I have compiled enough recordings, I'm going to turn this into a publication.

One goal of this project (among many) is for this project to be an examination of where we have been, where we are now and where we see ourselves going as individuals and as movements. Another one is to really examine what we want, what we feel is missing and what frustrates us about current movements and communities. Like many I often get afraid of stagnancy and worry about being a part of struggles that still lack so much definition. The reason why I am doing this project is that I believe a precursor for our sustainability is the presence of a language and a subtext that unites us. By sharing stories about our commonalities and differences we can begin to build a history and a base to reflect upon and move forward from. I believe the answers to all the questions we have about how we will succeed can be found in our own voices and the voices fellow POCs. So let's hear it!

I don't care about activist points and I don't care about credidentials. Save that resume junk for white progressives. If you are a radically minded POC I would love for you to participate regardless of your 'organizing history'. Although this project may sound kind of formal, I plan on this being a very chill, spontaneous, and individualized experience. We can talk about whatever you want. It can be done one-on-one or in groups. We can use real names or fake ones. I can be present or I don't have to be, if and when it isn't appropriate. If you live near me maybe we'll finally actually get to hang out instead of just seeing each other at random dance parties. If you live far away it can be an excuse for me to travel.

So contact me if you are interested in contributing (and I hope you are!) or have any questions. Tell your friends too! Hope to hear from you soon and I love y'all!

Keepin' It Real,
Andrea Genevieve"

All questions can be sent to her at oh_snap@riseup.net or you can respond here!

4 burned the idols - Ruin everything

Tuesday, August 1st, 2006
11:31 am
Dark Days
Half of my house went to Sleater Kinney's last show last night(I would have gone just to buy and resell shirts, in these hard times). Apparently there was lots of crying, hugging, and water sharing.

I just returned from nyc w/ a friend, visiting my family and of course, hitting up Red Bamboo is never questionable. I saw this "I <3 Lebanon" sticker and other supportive street propaghanda for the country which I wanted to get for Kate, whose family, along many other people I know is in Beirut.

The trip was productive b/c of the constructive conversations I had with my grandpa. I later found out he's in a book by Kwame Nkrumah titled Dark Days In Ghana, from when he travelled with Nkrumah to various places like Burma, India, Vietnam, etc. I definitely need to read this!

Andrea and I just spent some time talkng about eschewing labels. Their use surely has roots in colonialism where compartmentalizing, subjugating, and developing a ranking system was a part of the strategy to justify assertions of the superior race and therefore diminion. If you look at Zapatistas, "anarchism" isnt a descriptive for their functioning community. Philosophies of anarchism and socialism came out of Europe. I just want to participate in building frame of reference for pocs so we can abandon the Western structure of categorization and create organic, sustainable, decolonized communities for ourselves.

I have a few friends who are in the process of starting zines based on interviews and conversations between (anti-authoritarian) pocs all over the country, our frustrations with the community, outside of it, and future plans for strengthening our foci. We need it! If anyone who sees this is interested and self-identifies as poc, let me know and let's collaborate on these projects. Lets network this shit!

It's 100+ degrees right now, so I'm going to some icebox cafe before I die of heat exhaustion.

Ruin everything

Monday, July 17th, 2006
11:27 am
Sick!
Watching the film "coming out in the developing world" made me more concious of ingrained power colonialism has on people's psyches and cultures. it's colonial devices like manifest destiny which are performed out constantly creating a state of irrationality and fear in the form of violence against queers in the "third-world". i want to go back to ghana so bad, but informing myself of the silencing impositions on the country towards people who are self-identified queers, the misunderstood correlation of sexual diversity and aids, and propaghanda influence on the streets and in homes condemning queers makes me ill.

Current Mood: nauseated

Ruin everything

Sunday, July 16th, 2006
10:03 am
things im looking forward to
things i'm looking forward to:

- the gorilla biscuits show, even though i've heard from many ppl that the one with civ years back was b-b-b-busted
-rogue collective's growth
-moving in with gonzalo and having the queerest poc-est vegan straightedgest house ever(i wish!)
-doing the band thing, very bad
-destroying every last flea that exists on my cat and in this house :(
-kicking it with more 1st generation queer poc folk
-nonstop fun ass parties like the one last night
-more of those i love visiting me up here
-stevie's return from brazil so we can do the propaghandi cover band thing for the halloween show, and of course, the chokehold cover band w/ sarah and codee
-capoeira (damn, it's been almost a year since i've been absent from practicing it!)

things i love:

-philly's asthetic
-men who aren't afraid to hang out with all womyn esp. in social spaces and have a ridiculous amount of fun
-confident womyn
-drums, and the harmonic bend
-indian food
-leijia, but only if she hangs out with me soon! :P
-this smooth jazz song that's repeating in my head(dammit, whats the name of it?)
-colorful kicks

there are a few things that are supposed to go on here but i'll leave it at this.
attn:jane- i thought you were coming up here for a show? you should stop by, i miss you!

xvx still strong

8 burned the idols - Ruin everything

Tuesday, July 4th, 2006
9:20 pm
Last days, love days
i went to a bbq today with friends and had a good conversation with my friend cory. he's considered white by most people because he passes for it; i would like to learn more about people's experiences, coming from a mixed background though can accrue white privileges.

what i didnt know was the competitive features that can exist in dialogue between men, where one person has to introduce something impressive while the other has to mentally scramble for a more superior response. fucked up! i couldnt know how it possibly feels to always have to suffice a conversation with irrational filler just to prove my omnipotence. actually, for womyn it's through a different channel, one of propoghanda and like everyone else what we should subscribe to when we're younger- competitions of beautification and passivity. know your beauty and strengths, don't let them be sold to you.

another deep discussion cory and i had was about his friend Sam who is a transwomyn, and how no one would respect her transformation or logic behind her wanting to be recognized as a womyn. its all too common, but when i moved here to philly, i arrived into a new cultural awakening where gender descriptions weren't just she or he, but squee, zhe, they. i wish he could stick around for the film series, b/c one of the films we're presenting is based on a true story called Beautiful Boxer. the main character goes through so many phases in his life where he carries inhibitions haunting his self-esteem and honesty. there were many symbols placed in the beginning of the story with him as a little child opting to be in womyn's clothes and applying makeup. raised in a poor family, he ultimately decides to take up boxing(to win money for surgery and for his family), a controversial challenge to his claimed gender identity as it intensifies a climate of domination. eventually, throughout this he comes out as a transwomyn and gets mixed responses.
Come to the series, it will be fun. friends and fun and discussions and food.

ok, dawn i'll be writing to you, please wait for it! :)


It's THIS Saturday & Sunday!



Hope to see everyone there! *cough* afterparty too!

3 burned the idols - Ruin everything

Wednesday, June 28th, 2006
3:44 pm
2006 Philadelphia Queer People of Color Film Series

Check this out...we're tough-haha.
But besides that, you need to come to this and tell/invite all your friends and foes!

Rogue Collective presents 2006 Philadelphia Queer People of Color Film Series

Ruin everything

Saturday, June 17th, 2006
6:18 pm
p.s.
Dawn! I recieved your beautiful beautiful mail. Thank you, it made me smile! :) I was thinking about you right before it arrived.

2 burned the idols - Ruin everything

Thursday, June 15th, 2006
11:00 am
Is There a Bass Player out there??
i really cant wait till we complete our band. i just finished listening to a tape of Sarah's old band Dark Lion(from Florida), and the only way i can describe their quirky sound is super spazztic and amazing. i've almost finished the second song, it needs a few more parts added to it. we need to practice this sunday, i need to call levon, and we need a bassist. i almost lost my job coming in 4 hours late! my alarm didnt go off on time and my micromanager said she would talk to me when i returned from nyc. when i came back there was no mention of it and things went on as usual. i guess thats my silent warning not to repeat the same shit again. the philadelphia queer people of color film series is in less than a month and i need to start sending out updates for it. im excited about life, even if it does maintain its lows.

Ruin everything

Thursday, June 8th, 2006
11:38 pm
Anonymous Gift Summer?!
so...a random customer dropped off a dog at my work wanting to know if anyone could keep her. after a few useless attempts, he went on to say "fuck it, im going to take it to the pound".
since i dont believe in animals dying unjustly i tentatively told him i would watch her. he drove off, and 5 hours later, im at home with a beautiful Doberman Pinscher. its awesome in a way because she's intimidating the fuck out of creepazoids that pass me by. but i also live with 7 other people, and the probability of all of them agreeing on me keeping her is a big fat no. i really want her though, ive never felt this way about ANY dog before b/c ive had horrific experiences with them in the past; acting vicious and wild. but she's so fucking beautiful, i dont know-
i've named her Java because she was sitting outside the coffee shop i work at. you can clearly see her ribcage. she's so fucking sweet and i hope i get to keep her.

anyway, ive blabbed too much about her. in other news ive started a band again, i know i say that so often but we practice 2x or more a week. its me on guitar, codee on drums, and sarah on vox so far.we just need a bassist which shouldnt be hard to find at all, and a 2nd guitarist, and a name. any ideas?!

im going to PRIDE Nyc tomorrow and im indescribably overjoyed. and leijia, i hope you're home!!! :D

peace, love, and revolution (a very hippiesque signature)

-a

Current Mood: stoked on life

Ruin everything

Monday, May 22nd, 2006
2:11 pm

Ruin everything

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