andyfuckinglib.

goodbyelenin @ 2006-12-29T03:48:00

2006-12-29T07:48:19Z

r.i.p.

blahdeblah

2006-12-24T01:51:51Z

So I've come to the sad realization that my literary quest for books on 1st generation youth is futile. This comes from the ambiguity with defining what is actually "1st generation", who identifies as this, if it's an acceptable term of identification, etc. Sigh.

Goodish bad news: lost my job(yes!), but it's winter time(shit!)
+ Visiting my family and friends for a week.
+ Filling out forms for school, and knowing what I want to do with my life.
+ Once again the attempt persists with starting yet another 'core band, with Taina(was in anti-product) as either guest or part-time vocalist...yay
+/- I need money, if you have my mailing address, you know what to do
+ My housemates and I get along really well. Even though I dont celebrate this stupid holiday, they thought of me enough to each get me a book:
A Taste of Power by Elaine Brown, former Black Panther Party member
Al-Hajr al-3jeeb The Incredible Stone (ja'at ma3 sharee6)
? the 3rd one my roommate will surprise me with tonight. I'm assuming its a book on being queer in West Africa. !!!

I'm gonna start hooking people up with good web links every time i do an entry.

http://www.critpath.org/actup/
ACT UP
founded in philly, with locations all over the world, act up's mission is to support hiv/aids victims and inform communities about hiv/aids, through street education outreach, handing out safe-sex materials, putting pressure on pharmeuceutical (sp?) companies, etc. what i love about this organization is it's purely volunteer run, composed of those living with the virus and allies. anyway, check it out.

have a good break kids! goodbye for now, philly.

Assata Shakur's name stirs controversy

2006-12-16T18:23:34Z

Ooh, shocking.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,236015,00.html

" Yesterday's story from Fox news, it was the top story for a while. Note that they try to make the City College students sound stupid by leaving in all the "likes" and "ums" -- they don't do that with Columbia or NYU students. Note also that City College students have a major consciousness about police brutality, especially again now with Sean Bell's murder. "

Now, I'm sure if there was a "Daniel Faulkner Community Center" or unanimous votes to erect memorials of those guilty of executing repressive, genocidal crimes in history and the present against dark-skinned people (actually wait, those already exist), the media spotlight wouldn't come anywhere near being appalled by those decisions...in fact, they'd commend them.

-andy

goodbyelenin @ 2006-12-15T21:39:00

2006-12-16T01:39:19Z

Yo pals,

1.I'll be in Lextown for the holiday break for a week, from the 24th to the 31st. Kashmir, anyone..?! bueller?

2. Does anyone have book or article suggestions on growing up as a 1st generation child? Thanks in advance!

the march for mumia

2006-12-09T02:08:49Z

March for MUMIA tomorrow at 11:30am - from City hall to the AFSC building, where Ward Churchill will be speaking outside.

See you there!

http://www.freemumia.com

Just In Case you haven't seen this yet.

2006-11-05T00:45:15Z

http://www.hiphopmusic.com/archives/002070.html

Canada based Somali hip hop artist K'naan and his crew brutalized by Swedish cops and bounces after his performance. (Share this link with everybody)

What the fuck for!

goverment issues

2006-10-02T03:33:40Z

Check these hip hop artists out:

Son of Nun Support Palestine!

Head Roc Unslave your mind

I just finished watching these ppl perform. It was amazing "for 7aifa, for rafa7.."I loved everything but the obnoxious white man who kept shouting "Yeah, mothafuckaz!" and interrupting very profound speeches the singers were delivering with pseudo-racist banter. The power dynamics of the crowd were uncomfortable but my friend Anna and I kept it real by keeping our place in the front.

A great line from one of the singers, "Oh, I see some people felt uncomfortable with me using the word "Gringo." How interesting....The only "pc" is my computer."

if life had a voice...

2006-08-25T03:25:46Z

AHHHHHHHHH!

goodbyelenin @ 2006-08-13T02:39:00

2006-08-13T07:39:23Z

My friend Kate and I will be saving money to go to N.Africa next summer, hopefully. Her cousin's in town and I've attempted to converse with him in Arabic and he's found no problems with my speech so far. I decided finally that the job I need is to work with refugees and asylees, to listen to their stories and not to push them into assimilation, but through trust learn how they want to define life for themselves. I've started reading about two things related to language- globalization and generational division.

I'm considering seeing a therapist. For so long, I was so critical of patients, visitors, or anybody who's even thought about going to one. But I feel like I have so much embedded stress that I end up scapegoating every individual i see. I'm so tired of the fake smiles, fake actions, and fake sentiment. I just want to be happy! I see myself getting closer to bliss, even though I know life isn't complete without it's difficulties. Maybe I can be in charge of my own management without the "professional" guidance, but it would be supportive to hear life stories and experiences similar to mine. Things are going well in my life right now, I'm just now grasping the maturity I've needed to pick out my faults.

Hey codee, sarah and I are hitting this up a little bit(well, we'll be kicking it outside w/ folks,maybe). I hope you're safe.

-andy

value your life! be mindful of how you treat others'.

2006-08-08T04:17:32Z

I just found out one of my friends died of a heroin overdose last night. A lesson I'm learning more and more as time grows is to resist pushing people further into margins. She had a lot of concealed sadness inside her and opened up to anyone who would listen. No one really attempted to encourage her happiness and many downplayed her misery. R.I.P. Ashley.

The POC Outlet Project

2006-08-03T03:06:49Z

The POC thoughts project idea, by Andrea:

"So Ive started to work on a new project inspired by awesome, insightful dialogues Ive had with other radical/anarchist/anti-authoritarian people of color. Specifically within the past five years of my life as I have been meeting, organizing with and developing tighter friendships with more and more brilliant radical POCs, I have been fortunate enough to have participated in some incredible and life-changing conversations. These conversations have focused on a variety of subjects including: our relationships to organizing and activism, the history of racism, privilege, "passing", issues of identity, immigration, living with multiple heritages, forming autonomous communities, mental health, sexuality, gender expression, the struggles we face decolonizing our minds, capitalism, Civilization, the shift from matrifocal communities to the Patriarchy, Nature, the environment, spirituality, violence, armed struggle, and love.

I feel that so much knowledge has been shared between us and there have been countless times when I have desperately wished I had a way to record our conversations, to transcribe them and share them with the rest of the community in a written form. So I've decided to do just that - an interview/dialogue project where we sit down together to explore all things related to our experiences as radical people of color. Eventually after I have compiled enough recordings, I'm going to turn this into a publication.

One goal of this project (among many) is for this project to be an examination of where we have been, where we are now and where we see ourselves going as individuals and as movements. Another one is to really examine what we want, what we feel is missing and what frustrates us about current movements and communities. Like many I often get afraid of stagnancy and worry about being a part of struggles that still lack so much definition. The reason why I am doing this project is that I believe a precursor for our sustainability is the presence of a language and a subtext that unites us. By sharing stories about our commonalities and differences we can begin to build a history and a base to reflect upon and move forward from. I believe the answers to all the questions we have about how we will succeed can be found in our own voices and the voices fellow POCs. So let's hear it!

I don't care about activist points and I don't care about credidentials. Save that resume junk for white progressives. If you are a radically minded POC I would love for you to participate regardless of your 'organizing history'. Although this project may sound kind of formal, I plan on this being a very chill, spontaneous, and individualized experience. We can talk about whatever you want. It can be done one-on-one or in groups. We can use real names or fake ones. I can be present or I don't have to be, if and when it isn't appropriate. If you live near me maybe we'll finally actually get to hang out instead of just seeing each other at random dance parties. If you live far away it can be an excuse for me to travel.

So contact me if you are interested in contributing (and I hope you are!) or have any questions. Tell your friends too! Hope to hear from you soon and I love y'all!

Keepin' It Real,
Andrea Genevieve"

All questions can be sent to her at oh_snap@riseup.net or you can respond here!

Dark Days

2006-08-01T16:07:30Z

Half of my house went to Sleater Kinney's last show last night(I would have gone just to buy and resell shirts, in these hard times). Apparently there was lots of crying, hugging, and water sharing.

I just returned from nyc w/ a friend, visiting my family and of course, hitting up Red Bamboo is never questionable. I saw this "I <3 Lebanon" sticker and other supportive street propaghanda for the country which I wanted to get for Kate, whose family, along many other people I know is in Beirut.

The trip was productive b/c of the constructive conversations I had with my grandpa. I later found out he's in a book by Kwame Nkrumah titled Dark Days In Ghana, from when he travelled with Nkrumah to various places like Burma, India, Vietnam, etc. I definitely need to read this!

Andrea and I just spent some time talkng about eschewing labels. Their use surely has roots in colonialism where compartmentalizing, subjugating, and developing a ranking system was a part of the strategy to justify assertions of the superior race and therefore diminion. If you look at Zapatistas, "anarchism" isnt a descriptive for their functioning community. Philosophies of anarchism and socialism came out of Europe. I just want to participate in building frame of reference for pocs so we can abandon the Western structure of categorization and create organic, sustainable, decolonized communities for ourselves.

I have a few friends who are in the process of starting zines based on interviews and conversations between (anti-authoritarian) pocs all over the country, our frustrations with the community, outside of it, and future plans for strengthening our foci. We need it! If anyone who sees this is interested and self-identifies as poc, let me know and let's collaborate on these projects. Lets network this shit!

It's 100+ degrees right now, so I'm going to some icebox cafe before I die of heat exhaustion.

Sick!

2006-07-17T15:35:11Z

Watching the film "coming out in the developing world" made me more concious of ingrained power colonialism has on people's psyches and cultures. it's colonial devices like manifest destiny which are performed out constantly creating a state of irrationality and fear in the form of violence against queers in the "third-world". i want to go back to ghana so bad, but informing myself of the silencing impositions on the country towards people who are self-identified queers, the misunderstood correlation of sexual diversity and aids, and propaghanda influence on the streets and in homes condemning queers makes me ill.

things im looking forward to

2006-07-16T14:18:27Z

things i'm looking forward to:

- the gorilla biscuits show, even though i've heard from many ppl that the one with civ years back was b-b-b-busted
-rogue collective's growth
-moving in with gonzalo and having the queerest poc-est vegan straightedgest house ever(i wish!)
-doing the band thing, very bad
-destroying every last flea that exists on my cat and in this house :(
-kicking it with more 1st generation queer poc folk
-nonstop fun ass parties like the one last night
-more of those i love visiting me up here
-stevie's return from brazil so we can do the propaghandi cover band thing for the halloween show, and of course, the chokehold cover band w/ sarah and codee
-capoeira (damn, it's been almost a year since i've been absent from practicing it!)

things i love:

-philly's asthetic
-men who aren't afraid to hang out with all womyn esp. in social spaces and have a ridiculous amount of fun
-confident womyn
-drums, and the harmonic bend
-indian food
-leijia, but only if she hangs out with me soon! :P
-this smooth jazz song that's repeating in my head(dammit, whats the name of it?)
-colorful kicks

there are a few things that are supposed to go on here but i'll leave it at this.
attn:jane- i thought you were coming up here for a show? you should stop by, i miss you!

xvx still strong

Last days, love days

2006-07-05T02:06:00Z

i went to a bbq today with friends and had a good conversation with my friend cory. he's considered white by most people because he passes for it; i would like to learn more about people's experiences, coming from a mixed background though can accrue white privileges.

what i didnt know was the competitive features that can exist in dialogue between men, where one person has to introduce something impressive while the other has to mentally scramble for a more superior response. fucked up! i couldnt know how it possibly feels to always have to suffice a conversation with irrational filler just to prove my omnipotence. actually, for womyn it's through a different channel, one of propoghanda and like everyone else what we should subscribe to when we're younger- competitions of beautification and passivity. know your beauty and strengths, don't let them be sold to you.

another deep discussion cory and i had was about his friend Sam who is a transwomyn, and how no one would respect her transformation or logic behind her wanting to be recognized as a womyn. its all too common, but when i moved here to philly, i arrived into a new cultural awakening where gender descriptions weren't just she or he, but squee, zhe, they. i wish he could stick around for the film series, b/c one of the films we're presenting is based on a true story called Beautiful Boxer. the main character goes through so many phases in his life where he carries inhibitions haunting his self-esteem and honesty. there were many symbols placed in the beginning of the story with him as a little child opting to be in womyn's clothes and applying makeup. raised in a poor family, he ultimately decides to take up boxing(to win money for surgery and for his family), a controversial challenge to his claimed gender identity as it intensifies a climate of domination. eventually, throughout this he comes out as a transwomyn and gets mixed responses.
Come to the series, it will be fun. friends and fun and discussions and food.

ok, dawn i'll be writing to you, please wait for it! :)

It's THIS Saturday & Sunday!

Hope to see everyone there! *cough* afterparty too!

2006 Philadelphia Queer People of Color Film Series

2006-06-28T19:45:21Z

Check this out...we're tough-haha.
But besides that, you need to come to this and tell/invite all your friends and foes!

Rogue Collective presents 2006 Philadelphia Queer People of Color Film Series

p.s.

2006-06-17T22:20:30Z

Dawn! I recieved your beautiful beautiful mail. Thank you, it made me smile! :) I was thinking about you right before it arrived.

Is There a Bass Player out there??

2006-06-15T15:10:08Z

i really cant wait till we complete our band. i just finished listening to a tape of Sarah's old band Dark Lion(from Florida), and the only way i can describe their quirky sound is super spazztic and amazing. i've almost finished the second song, it needs a few more parts added to it. we need to practice this sunday, i need to call levon, and we need a bassist. i almost lost my job coming in 4 hours late! my alarm didnt go off on time and my micromanager said she would talk to me when i returned from nyc. when i came back there was no mention of it and things went on as usual. i guess thats my silent warning not to repeat the same shit again. the philadelphia queer people of color film series is in less than a month and i need to start sending out updates for it. im excited about life, even if it does maintain its lows.

Anonymous Gift Summer?!

2006-06-09T04:01:03Z

so...a random customer dropped off a dog at my work wanting to know if anyone could keep her. after a few useless attempts, he went on to say "fuck it, im going to take it to the pound".
since i dont believe in animals dying unjustly i tentatively told him i would watch her. he drove off, and 5 hours later, im at home with a beautiful Doberman Pinscher. its awesome in a way because she's intimidating the fuck out of creepazoids that pass me by. but i also live with 7 other people, and the probability of all of them agreeing on me keeping her is a big fat no. i really want her though, ive never felt this way about ANY dog before b/c ive had horrific experiences with them in the past; acting vicious and wild. but she's so fucking beautiful, i dont know-
i've named her Java because she was sitting outside the coffee shop i work at. you can clearly see her ribcage. she's so fucking sweet and i hope i get to keep her.

anyway, ive blabbed too much about her. in other news ive started a band again, i know i say that so often but we practice 2x or more a week. its me on guitar, codee on drums, and sarah on vox so far.we just need a bassist which shouldnt be hard to find at all, and a 2nd guitarist, and a name. any ideas?!

im going to PRIDE Nyc tomorrow and im indescribably overjoyed. and leijia, i hope you're home!!! :D

peace, love, and revolution (a very hippiesque signature)

-a

Tonight!

2006-05-22T18:11:51Z

My new favorite person

2006-05-18T03:46:06Z

Labi Siffre .

He was a folky/funk/jazzy musician of the 60's. Such good stuff!! I just turned my friends on to him the other day, and they said his sound reminded them of Shuggie Otis. His father is Nigerian and his mother is British. His poetry continues to be written today, and it ranges from themes of heterosexism to ethnocentric/racist policies(including in Palestine). It's like finding Stevie Wonder collaborated with Nelson Mandela...this guy seriously rules a lot. Enimen ripped off his shit with his debut song "My Name Is" though, which is fucked up..word.

Facts of life

2006-05-14T16:34:15Z

It's hard to feel alive when life is so surreal. It's hard to feel things are real when life is so dead. Activism, scenes, egos, parties, shows, "hos, and bros". When can I personally connect with someone, anyone? Without having to jump over hurdles not making any sort of progress. We have myriad identities and people want their fix of what they're more familiar with. I'm vegan, drug free, '1st generation' american, queer identified, hip hop and punk rock. But if all you see are my body codes and ideals, why can't we come together? We have similar politics but things are still clickish. If things were as simple as typing this, one thing I wish is each other's lives won't be dismissed. How is it magnified where you live? Would you rather feel occupied and insular, or have filler and feel connected? I'm not sure what this entry is trying to say, but it sums up what mine and Andrea's conversation of lonliness we experience day to day. But it's not any more comprehensible or sufficed, expressed into words.

Mayday is Payday.

2006-05-11T14:27:31Z

My free money story beats Eva's. The other day my friend and I were at Govinda's (best vegan restaurant in philly!) and I stepped on $60. We both looked at each other very shocked and she said, "Good things come to those who wait." Ha. Unfortunatley I had to use it to pay for a gas bill, but not before buying their delicious vegan carrot cake. There's another moral to this story, but I still haven't figured it out.

Binary thoughts...hmmm.

2006-05-08T22:43:19Z

Such a vague and ridiculous article...but should be read anyway!

WASHINGTON - Lesbians' brains react differently to sex hormones than those of heterosexual women, new research indicates. That's in line with an earlier study that had indicated gay men's brain responses were different from straight men — though the difference for men was more pronounced than has now been found in women.

Lesbians' brains reacted somewhat, though not completely, like those of heterosexual men, a team of Swedish researchers said in Tuesday's edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. A year ago, the same group reported findings for gay men that showed their brain response to hormones was similar to that of heterosexual women.

In both cases the findings add weight to the idea that homosexuality has a physical basis and is not learned behavior. "It shows sexual orientation may very well have a different basis between men and women ... this is not just a mirror image situation," said Sandra Witelson, an expert on brain anatomy and sexual orientation at the Michael G. DeGroote School of Medicine at McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario.

"The important thing is to be open to the likely situation that there are biological factors that contribute to sexual orientation," added Witelson, who was not part of the research team. The research team led by Ivanka Savic at the Stockholm Brain Institute had volunteers sniff chemicals derived from male and female sex hormones. These chemicals are thought to be pheromones — molecules known to trigger responses such as defense and sex in many animals.

Whether humans respond to pheromones has been debated, although in 2000 American researchers reported finding a gene that they believe directs a human pheromone receptor in the nose. The same team reported last year on a comparison of the response of male homosexuals to heterosexual men and women. They found that the brains of gay men reacted more like those of women than of straight men.

The new study shows a similar, but weaker, relationship between the response of lesbians and straight men.

Heterosexual women found the male and female pheromones about equally pleasant, while straight men and lesbians liked the female pheromone more than the male one. Men and lesbians also found the male hormone more irritating than the female one, while straight women were more likely to be irritated by the female hormone than the male one.

All three groups rated the male hormone more familiar than the female one. Straight women found both hormones about equal in intensity, while lesbians and straight men found the male hormone more intense than the female one. The brains of all three groups were scanned when sniffing male and female hormones and a set of four ordinary odors. Ordinary odors were processed in the brain circuits associated with smell in all the volunteers.

In heterosexual males the male hormone was processed in the scent area but the female hormone was processed in the hypothalamus, which is related to sexual stimulation. In straight women the sexual area of the brain responded to the male hormone while the female hormone was perceived by the scent area.

In lesbians, both male and female hormones were processed the same, in the basic odor processing circuits, Savic and her team reported. Each of the three groups of subjects included 12 healthy, unmedicated, right-handed and
HIV-negative individuals.

The research was funded by the Swedish Medical Research Council, Karolinska Institute and the Wallenberg Foundation.

Thoughts..?

eva, do you know about this? Holy shit! :)

2006-04-24T00:30:08Z

A little late with the news, but the first mural dedicated to Edward Said on prominent school grounds(the only Palestinian mural on US university campuses.):

http://www.arabamericannews.com/newsarticle.php?articleid=4971